


Easier

by memoryofyou



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-12 02:21:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3340019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memoryofyou/pseuds/memoryofyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cisco chooses hate, because hate is easier than missing him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Easier

Cisco is familiar with the emotion of hate. Growing up in Detroit, he grew up surrounded by hate. Hate for your enemies, hate for those different from you, from a different neighborhood than you. Cisco himself had even been a target of hate from those in his neighborhood - the quiet, smart kid you just knew was going to make it out of the ‘hood. That made him easy pickings.

 

When he graduated high school at fifteen with a full-ride scholarship to Northwestern University waiting for him, he found himself subjected to a whole new round of hate. This time, it was the older students he was now surrounded with, most of whom treated him like a freak, while his professors designated him “bright, but immature.” He’d taken on the immature title like a suit of armor, playing into the weird, quirky nerd demeanor that allowed him to finally express himself beyond engineering equations.

 

After he’d graduated first in his class, he’d taken the offer to work for S.T.A.R. Labs in Central City with all the enthusiasm of a bight-eyed twenty year old who saw nothing but a bright, exciting future ahread of him. The chance to work on the cutting edge of technology - with _the_ Dr. Harrison Wells - was an opportunity Cisco had never dreamed of. Dr. Wells only surrounded himself with the best, and the fact that Wells considered Cisco one of the best was beyond amazing. He’d followed the work of Dr. Wells’ top engineer, Hartley Rathaway, for years. That he was going to be working with both of them was nothing short of a dream come true.

 

Then, he’d met Rathaway.

 

Rathaway was everything Cisco had hated about the bullies he’d dealt with his whole life, only worse because Hartley was supposed to be like Cisco - a young man bullied and picked on for simply being gifted, for being different. Instead, the slightly older man had found a way to get under Cisco’s skin almost immediately, in a way the neighborhood thugs and university know-it-alls never had. Cisco would find himself escaping to his tiny closet of an office at least six times a day to scream his frustrations out where no one could (hopefully) hear him.

 

He began to suspect that Dr. Wells might have it out for him about three months into his time at S.T.A.R. Labs, when he was assigned to work with Hartley on redesigning the particle detectors. He considers going to Wells and requesting to be reassigned, but he has survived everything that’s been thrown at him in his young life - and he would survive Hartley Rathaway.

 

Working with Hartley for ten hours a day proves just as soul-crushingly terrible as Cisco had anticipated, his days spent having his ideas and suggestions dismissed as Hartley runs simulation after simulation in an attempt to make his own designs work. One night about two weeks in, Cisco tells Hartley that he’s going home and hides out in his own office until he’s sure that Hartley has left. Sneaking into Hartley’s office and hacking into his computer was easier than it probably should have been, but Cisco dismisses it as Hartley believing that no one would be as dumb as to lay a finger on his things.

 

Cisco works through the night, adapting his own ideas to work with Hartley’s, and finally a cohesive design begins to take shape, much better than anything either man could have come up with on their own. Hartley is great at the big picture, Cisco excelling in the tiny details. He saves his work and leaves Hartley’s office, hoping that he didn’t just seal the deal on losing the best (and only) job he’s ever had.

 

He’s pretty sure that he falls asleep on the tiny couch in his office about five minutes after that, and awakens a few hours later when he hears the door to his office open. No one announces themselves, so Cisco chooses to let them think he’s still asleep. The smell of his favorite Jitters coffee invades his senses, and he cracks his eye open enough to watch in dismay as Hartley sets the drink down. When Hartley turns to him, he can’t tell if the other man knows that he’s awake until he tilts his head slightly in his direction before straightening his posture and turning on his heel, leaving without a word.

 

The moment is a turning point in their working relationship. Hartley begins to grudgingly take Cisco’s opinions into account, on occasion at least. Cisco wouldn't call them friends by any stretch of the imagination, but they do become somewhat civil. And if a mysterious cup of coffee starts appearing on Cisco's desk every few days, he's not complaining.

 

Things change again a few weeks later, while they're in the dark, cavernous space that will house their detector connected to the accelerator, arguing over where the breaker panel of all things should be. Hartley had been in a foul mood all afternoon, ever since Cisco had come back from lunch with Ronnie egging him on about the waiter who had given Cisco his number. Hartley had been even more irritable than normal, only speaking to Cisco when absolutely necessary. Cisco had let it slide, until Hartley had nearly electrocuted him and blew up the entire room. Cisco had confronted him, asking him what Cisco had done to make Hartley so angry. Hartley had tried to deflect the question, but by then Cisco had been determined. He pressed on, until Hartley let a snide remark slip about dating “wannabe actor waiters of subpar intelligence.” Cisco had been so caught offguard, he could only barely stutter out that he had no intention of calling the waiter, but what difference did it make to Hartley before Hartley grabbed a fistful of Cisco's "rock paper scissors lizard spock" shirt and crushed his lips to Cisco's. Before Cisco could react, Hartley pulled away, seemingly surprised at his actions himself. Not allowing himself to over think the situation, Cisco slipped his hands around Hartley's waist and pulled him in for another kiss (no more work was accomplished on the detector that night, and Cisco was glad they hadn't gotten around to installing the security security cameras yet).

 

Hartley and Cisco’s relationship evolves from that night on. They still fight like cats and dogs, and they decide to keep things a secret until they figure out exactly what’s going on (though, somehow, Cisco thinks Dr. Wells knows all too well what’s going on). Somewhere along the way, Cisco realizes that he’s fallen in love with this frustrating, beautiful, genius man. He tells him as such during a quiet night at his apartment. He doesn’t expect Hartley to say it back, and he doesnt, until he thinks Cisco is asleep and he whispers it quietly into his hair before falling asleep himself. It’s good enough for Cisco, especially when he gets a rare, blinding Hartley Rathaway smile when he slips it casually into his morning goodbye as they leave for work.

 

Then, Dr. Wells calls a meeting for the leads on the accelerator project, at which Hartley is noticeably absent. Cisco feels his stomach drop and unease course through his body as Dr. Wells explains that Hartley has chosen to "pursue other opportunities" and has left S.T.A.R Labs effective immediately. Cisco practically runs out of the meeting, frantically texting Hartley, even though he knows the other man hates text messages. By the end of the day, Cisco is worried to the point of distraction, and he slips out of the office before he accidentally blows someone up. He races home to his apartment, throwing open the door to find it dark and empty. His eyes land on the table he keeps by the door, a single key resting on it. His eyes scan the apartment, the small signs of Hartley’s time spent there missing. He fishes his phone out of his pocket for the 500th time that day, despite knowing that there won’t be any messages waiting for him.

 

Hartley is gone.

 

Before Cisco can truly process what’s happened, everything goes to hell and everyone nearly dies when the accelerator explodes. The next nine months are undoubtedly the worst of Cisco’s life, with much of S.T.A.R. Labs left in ruins and most of his co-workers abandoning the disgraced and paralyzed Dr. Wells. Only Cisco and Caitlin stay, and a small voice in the back of Cisco’s mind tells him it’s because S.T.A.R. is all he has left of Hartley and what could have been between them. Cisco silences that voice quickly, and pushes away every positive memory he has of Hartley Rathaway. The only way he knows how to process his heartbreak is the only remember the bad - focus on what a complete and total ass Hartley was and turn his feelings to those of hate.

 

Because hating him is easier than missing him.

 


End file.
